Are you NASTY or NICE?

Quiz made by Angela

stupid water fairy thing made my stuff overlap... grrrr

I'm Hello Kitty Water Fairy! made by: Jen

it's sinking in... ::sigh::

(( 01; are you male or female? female
(( 02; describe your neighbourhood: boring and nothing good ever happens
(( 03; how do you look? shitty
(( 04; if you could say something to the person you like, what would it be? thank you for giving me the chance to love you.
(( 05; where do you wish you were right now? mall.. beach.. canada
(( 06; what would you say to your best friend? hihi ;P
(( 07; any words of wisdom: watever happens happens
(( 08; what do you wish you were doing right now? not reminiscing
(( 09; what do you think of drugs and alcohol? ehh..
(( 10; if you could say one thing to your enemy, what would it be? puta. puta. puta.
(( 11; what do you usually do on friday nights? stay home lol..
(( 12; are you for world peace? yerp.
(( 13; what do you think about school? it's kay..
(( 14; how do you feel right now? don't ask me until school starts..
(( 15; any closing words? i miss you..

heh, i read my l_j.. i sounded really stupid..

the rain used to make me happy.. now it's making me cry.. so pathetic..

have i really lost all hope? thats wat i keep asking myself over and over again.. i don't see things the way he does.. im not sayin wat he's thinkin is wrong buh.. there's no chance.. it's done. it's over. tapoos. like i honestly think there's no more chances.. we used all of them up, plus more in this lifetime already..

i can't say "oh i love you so much and i want you back so badly please stay with me".. coz wats the point? if you don't really want it, then you're not willing to try.. and you're just gonna keep killing wat's left.. iunno i just hate being treated like a yo-yo and it's like, yeah if we get back together how do i know he wants it? how do i know he's gonna try? how will i know if im gonna try? maybe by then i won't even want it..

heh, the next person i fall in love with.. if you're actually real and do exist.. please have your mind set on if you want to keep me or not.. it would save me a whole lotta trouble :( also, take note, i'm a huge bitch wen it comes to arguments.. so please don't run away wen we do :\

i need some anti-depressants.. im startin to feel that feelin again.. :x

here's another entry i found.. random quotes.. some of u might like dem.. i guez..

[ random quotes... ] [02 Jun 2002|10:43pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

i just found some on a page... just thought i'd like to share.

I'll never be sorry for loving him, just sorry it ended so quickly.

What do I do? I mean, I'm sitting here, and everything's hitting me all at once. The tears fall slowly down my cheek, and my whimpers can barely be heard. I'm pushing you away, and I know it's what I need, but the pain you must be feeling is hurting me far more than words could even describe.

Even though I can say it's his loss, deep down inside I know it'll be mine too.

It's time to let you go it's time to say good-bye. No more excuses, no more tears to cry. There have been so many changes; I've been so confused. All along you were the one, all the time I never knew. I want you to be happy, you're my best friend. But it's so hard to let you go now, with all that could have been.

*We attach ourselves so strongly to people that when they're gone, a part of us is gone too.*

*You hug him good-bye like it's nothing...while all you want to do is hold on
forever...but you let go, smile and walk away...then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same...because try as you might you can't make someone love you, sometimes you have to let them be free...and letting go, that is when love hurts the most of all*

"Good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace being there, thanx is a feeble word...words can never replace feelings and heroes often go unsung...people seldom say I love you and then it's either too late or the moment goes, so when I tell you I love you it doesn't mean I know you'll never go, only that I wish you didn't have to."

Forget the times he walked by, forget the times he made you cry, forget the times he spoke your name, remember now he's not the same, forget the times he held your hand, forget the sweet things if you can, forget the times and don't pretend, remember now he's just your friend

"Promise me...that's all I want. Just a promise that you will never forget me. Tell me I changed you somehow. Let me know that I had an impact on your life. Promise me that you will always remember me. Losing you was hard enough, but I don't want to go on knowing I meant absolutely nothing to you. "

"I will wait for you. I don't care when you are coming back or if you ever plan to see me again because fate will bring you back to me and I will wait an eternity if that's how long it will take"

Nothing last forever no matter how bad you want it to. I know, I wanted him pretty bad. But maybe it is for the best. I am letting him go silently though. I can't tell him in fear that I will make a fool of myself by begging him to stay. Suck back my tears and walk away. I can't worry about my heart breaking. Someday I'll find someone...someday. I wish the tears would stop.

*The worst way to miss someone is to have them standing right next to you and know you can't have them. *

my dad's mad, buh iunno why..

hung out wid dustin.. juz ate pizza (out of 20, i hab 3 freakin dollars left ;P) en was at the library readin magazines fer a bit to kill time.. played wid yanni.. it was fun.. we juz spendin time before next month coz den won't see each other at all..

::sigh::

waitin on mai mickey dee's.. hopefully, dey get a chance tah go der..

im def. bloggin usin AOL from now on.. dat template crap dun show up wen i use it.

daddy, i love you. sweet dreamin tonight 0;)

I'm Angelic Cute!! made by Jen

wahtahh! dass right bitches im anqelik ;P



since wen is chandler a chick name??





Which Lilo & Stitch Character Are YOU?

Find out now! Only from the Quiz Junkie

i spent an hour with him.. and it felt pretty damn good :)

eeew, my picture looks bad.. imma change it..

i'm pulling through today... we were supposed to see each other, but his stomach isn't letting him go anywhere. it's alright i guess... i mean, i'm pretty stupid for letting myself get worked up over nothing again ;\

i didn't cry today or last night amazingly... iunno, this time it feels different to me. i miss him like crazy and i want him back more than anything... but i guess i don't have the heart to tell him those things in depth because it won't help him. and... unlike before... i didn't start to think of a compromise; this time i just accepted it. nuts, eh? i don't know why i'm feeling the way i am or why i'm not showing it like how i did before.. maybe it's coz i already have my mind made up.. or maybe it's coz i realized that it's done forever and that there's no point in forcing him into something he never wanted to begin with..

i've been pretty selfish with him: keeping him when he didn't want to be kept. plus, everything's killed now: friendships with certain people, the respect or approval of others and the relationship we had... or wat was left of it. so now he's free.. to do wat he wants without me in the way. this is my last week off, camp starts sunday, canada is on august 2nd and then he's in daytona when i come back, when he comes back i have field hockey.. so we won't see each other at all.. which i guess will help because it's eaiser to forget about someone that way.. not that i plan to, but it will help him.. coz i know wat he's feeling.. he may not know it, but keeping busy and not seeing each other will help you forget.. help you get over it.. help make the pain go away..

iunno.. i guess we were never meant to be..

and i can't do anything about it..

igot this quote from some chick that was on the sharon cuneta show:

"a relationship is never 50/50.. it's always 100/100. there is no give/take, there is always give/give.. the taking will come as a reward for your giving."

"Just Once" by James Ingram

I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough
'cause here we are back where we were before
seems nothing ever changes
we're back to being strangers
wondering if we ought to stay or head on out the door

Just once
can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
why we never last for very long
what are we doing wrong.
just once
can't we find a way to finally make it right
to make the magic last for more than just one night
if we could just get to it
I know we could break through it.
Ohh ohhh

I gave my heart
but I think my heart may have been too much
'cause lord knows we're not getting anywhere
seems we're always blowing
whatever we've got going
and it seems at times with all we've got
we haven't got a prayer...

Just once
can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
why the good times never last for long,
where are we going wrong
just once...
can't we find a way to finally make it right
to make the magic last for more than just one night
i know we could break through it
if we could just get to it

(Bridge)
Just once, I want to understand...
why it always comes back to goodbye;
why can't we get ourselves in hand
and admit to one another
we're no good without each other
take the best and make it better
find a way to stay together

Just once...
can't we find a way to finally make it right...Ohhhh
to make the magic last for more than just one night
i know we could break through it
if we could just get to it

Just Once...
Ohhhh, we can get to it
Just Once...

i found this in my old lj, too...

[ sorry it's been a while... ] [14 Jun 2002|11:22pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | "one sweet day" - mariah carey and boyz II men ]

"each day i wake up wit a smile...knowin ill see u...knowin ill talk to u..and each day ends with a tear...knowin that we're not the same as before.."
~dustin

we broke up... for good.

i know i've said that about a million times before, but this is permanent

... and i hate it 0¦*(

i found this on my old lj too...
me and dustin are done for good this time... even though i don't want to admit it i doubt we'd get back together... and if we did, it's not gonna be the same... maybe i'm just confused and i don't understand what he wants or what he's trying to say to me... i don't know. i'm not his. he's not mine. even though i wanted it to be like that. i made the mistake of saying that earlier today. i guess i'm stuck, huh?

i guess i was totally right on that one.

scratch that... sunday im busy... this fucking sucks. i hate diz stupid ass party shit. thank God for mountain dew code red.

i think imma change diz shit around a bit... buh prolly on sunday coz mai ass has nothin to do dat day ;P

after readin' marq's xanga wid daddy i got the urge to blog. plus, i went to dorney park yesterday.. so i gotta write about dat.

at firss i wasn't gonna hab anything to do yesterday becoz all my friends weren't pickin up der cell phones. goodness, i want wun juz so i can ignore everyone's calls too! anyways, dustin asked me to go and i was like... nahh son, iss lloyd's day. then lloyd IMs me and is like: i would like for you to kom... i was still a lil iffy buh both of dem assured me dat it was okay. soo yeah, monday night i went to bed late coz i was packin en ishies.

soo i wake up at 6 yesterday i take a shower and i change. as soon as im dun wid all dat en i start to clean, dustin calls me up en sez he gonna pick me up coz lloyd, tito francis, tita chona and rich ( X_x -bleh ) are gonna pick us up at dustin's. so me en daddy chizzle on his stoop for like two hours. i swear, daddy i've never seen daddy that awake... especially since it was like 6:50 in da mornin. so finally, dey come and we drive off. we started playin go fish in da car buh dat got boring (coz i beat da boyz ;P)... so dey talked and i fell asleep fer a lil.

wen i woke up, we wer at da mc donald's across from dorney. we had breakfast der... i had an egg mc muffin... all da guyz had bacon egg and cheez on a buscuit. well, lloyd didnt hab cheez i think... ohwellz... oh and rich had that plus hotcakes and a bunch of other stuff (43'5 987777!!!! hahaha) ohh and the mcdonald's was sooooo cool coz they had race car chairs and i went vroom vroom! yay!!

so we get in da park... and all of us go in to buy da tickets. kekeke... tito francis is so funny... these people wer walkin wid discount cupons in der hands talkin and he juz goes up to dem en starts lookin at da discount things. kekeke... so we go in... get lockers... change and daddy, rich, lloyd and me split up from tito francis and tita chona and go to da water rides. we went on aquablast, the lazy river thing, the wave pool... uhhh and a whole bunch of other tube ride things. at i think 2 we met up wid da 'rents to eat at subway, den we changed to go on da dry rides. TALON hahaha omg... i had daddy to the left of me going "awww geez guys" in da gayest voice ever... lloyd to da right screamin' like a woman... en rich juz laughin. i only screamed once... can u beleive it? usually i'd be screamin obscenities in my native tounge as well as english... buh it was too much... kekekee ohh man im never gonna forget dat ;P

after talon we walked around summore... went on steel force, talon, laser (since dey coodnt get on da lil laser dey went on da big wun... derrt ;P), that boat ride thing and i rode dominator wid lloyd. it was awesome coz der wer no lines... everyone was at da water park so we didnt even hab to wait fer anything. we walked around en did games en stuff... dustin was fockin around wid dis guy and asked him if he cood 'fuck around wid his balls'... damn i never knew daddy was so damn goofy kekeke... he also made da basketball guy turn his low-five into a high-five.... ::shakes head en giggles::...

daddy won me a bear!! she's pink en her name is kristy. she's nakey cept fer her white bandana ;P me and daddy too pictures too! i'll letchu see some wen i make mai subpage tomorrow... or da next day... iunno im busy wid yanni's partay junk.

so anyways, wen we go home... daddy not feelin well so he lay down in da back on mai lap en rich was drivin. we fall asleep... den somewhere in pennsylvania we stop at a buffet to eat. der was nothin der coz da kitchen was closing so we head back out, rich still drivin... he makes a k-turn and BAM!! hits a light pole. everyone went out one by one to see da damage: tito francis, rich, tita chona, and lloyd. me and daddy? we stayed in da car (81710 180614310 0012 855 044) hahaha... soo yah... tito francis drove from den on. we went to wendy's in parsippany ate... den went home.

damn fun fun day yesterday... today was chill... daddy came over ROBHS ;xxxxxxx, i made din-din, played battle arena toshinda, ate ice cream, catched fireflies and talked and talked and talked. i love chizzlin wid daddy... it makes me soo... happy :)

aiigh im off... dis was one BIG ass entry... haha nite ;)

i love you daddy.